Pretending is exhausting

There was a point in my life when I did everything possible to keep the peace or the status quo. Many times I would push my needs down in favour of making sure others were OK.

I didn’t want to cause waves or to be seen to be making a fuss.

I remember I was going through my divorce and negotiating buying my husband out of our house. I was also going through a restructure at work so my job was uncertain at the time.

I felt constantly worried and stressed because there was so much uncertainty - it didn’t feel good.

Yet EVERY SINGLE DAY I would show up to work and smile and carry on and do a great job, I would tell everyone I was FINE - because that’s what you have to do to maintain your success - right?

I put myself under so much pressure. And for what? To make other people happy, not me at that time I can tell you that!!

Pretending everything is OK when it’s not is exhausting - and I know so many ambitious and successful women who do this all the time. Who just carry on in the hope it will get better because they don’t want to stop and make a change. But it doesn’t get better and actually it impacts their physical and mental heatlh.

Learning to put my needs first was a game changer, and I want the same for you. You don’t have to just struggle on - I promise there is another way.

Imagine that when things start to feel too much you are able to say what you need - whether that’s to yourself, your boss or your family. And then you easily give yourself permission to do whatever you need at that moment so that you can feel amazing and the pretending can stop.