13 December 2021

The Surprising Way This Christmas Song Describes Women’s Emotional Labour

Ah, yes, the good ol’ Andy Williams’ song “It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year”. What a beautiful Christmas song!

It's the most wonderful time of the year

With the kids jingle belling

And everyone telling you "Be of good cheer" [...]

When you think about kids happily playing, everyone telling you to be happy, all the parties that need hosting, marshmallows that need toasting - everything is so beautiful…

… unless you’re the one that has to take care of all of that while everyone is telling you to “be happy” even though you’re exhausted.

So, Andy Williams, what’s up with that?!

Jokes aside, this is something we should definitely talk about, and I’m here to help you navigate this time with joy and peace of mind. Kind of like Santa, right?

Christmas & Women’s Emotional Labour

I have to shop for gifts, get everything done at work, plan the Christmas dinner, figure out the logistics of having my entire family together, manage everyone’s emotions to not cause troubles, attend parties that only make me tired, clean, cook. I have to do all of this AND suppress my emotions.

As women, we’re considered "natural caretakers". We pretty much always manage everything - from logistics to other people’s emotions. The concerning part is, however, that we’re expected to do it, in comparison to men.

All of these chores take a toll on our mental health. It often gets to a point where we’ve taken on so much that we have no time for ourselves. That, coupled with the need to suppress emotions and handle other people’s emotions to keep things harmonious, is called emotional labour. Super exhausting!

However, if you’re reading this, you’re probably aware of that, and you want to change it.

That's exactly what I want to help you do this year - you deserve to enjoy the most wonderful time of the year, too!

How To Navigate This Period

I’m an adventurous soul, so I’ll dare to say something that you probably think is utterly impossible around Christmas: you have to put yourself first and take care of your own needs before you can do that for someone else.

I know, I know: so much easier said than done. But here’s how to do it.

Stop, reflect, set

Reflect on the activities you’re going to have to take care of, the people you’re going to hang out with, and what your weeks could look like. Even better, write it all down.

Once you get an overview, it’s time for the fun part: set boundaries with yourself.

Yeah, you read that right - with yourself. Slipping into old habits like saying “yes” when you actually want to say “no” can creep up on you easily.

That’s why you should tell yourself “these are MY conditions and I stand by them”, and respect these boundaries every day.

Once you set boundaries with yourself and have your own back, doing it with everyone else will become easier.

Yes, you CAN control your diary

In your to-do list, you see everything you have to do right in front of your eyes and it looks A LOT.

Unfortunately, we tend to give in to that, thinking that there’s nothing we can do - we just have to get all of this done.

Well, not if you learn how to integrate work and life in a way that feels good.

It’s all about weaving in time for you to recharge. It’s about taking back control of your life and arranging things in a way that leaves you time for rest, fun, or whatever you want to do. Part of that is planning ahead, which will also help you do the next tip I’m giving you.

Schedule 1 thing - as little as 15-30 minutes - per day that is solely focused on YOU, your needs, your desires, your rest. Literally create a window in your calendar and stick to it. It'll make a huge difference in your energy and motivation.

If you need to, send me a message, I'll help you do it.

Don’t do it alone

Because of old conditioning, you might think that you can't just ask for help.

But more often than not, the people that are involved in your Christmas activities WANT to help.

You don’t have to prepare a 5-course meal for 15 people all by yourself. Ask them to pitch in, bring different things or literally bring one full course - everything is possible! Just ask.

Christmas isn’t supposed to be about overworking yourself to exhaustion (both physical AND emotional). Every day, you can learn how to let go of old conditioning. You can learn how to have fun and build in time for rest.

It all starts with a decision. But if you start small and empower yourself to keep consistent and set boundaries, the difference it’ll make might just make this Christmas the magical time you deserve.

Happy holidays, you fabulous woman!

If you want support to get through this holiday, join my email list today. I'll send you valuable reminders to take care of yourself and create an amazing Christmas for yourself.

Jeni Carroll

As a certified life coach, Jeni helps busy, successful women ditch overwhelm & selfdoubt & rediscover their energy, passion & freedom with proven strategies.

Ready to ditch the overwhelm and self-doubt? Start your transformation now.